Sledgehammer to the Chest

May 25, 2016, “Hip Replacements?” I heard myself repeat the doctor’s words.  “Your kidding, you mean they are a possibility right?” I feel numb. “A 100% possibility” I heard the Sports Medicine specialist reply.  His words felt like a sledgehammer to the center of my chest.  I could hardly formulate another thought much less additional questions.  He examined my hip range of motion and discomfort level, pressing into each joint using my knee for leverage.  I hobbled out of the doctor’s office, my hips felt like they were weeping.

I know I have femoroacetabular impingement, an anatomical variation in about 15% of people.  Read more about it here, from the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons.

Basically I have never been able to sit easily in easy pose, Sukasana.  My knees always feel up around my ears and my low  back can not relax because the pelvic bowl cannot roll forward with the legs in the way.  I have accommodated this pose pretty well by sitting on a block, trying to get my knees at the level of my hips.

Recently pain in my hip has led to the MRI diagnosis of a labral tear (the lining of my hips socket).  This can be very painful at times and feels like hip instability as well.  My MRI results were shown to me today and along with the doctors words about bone edema, arthritis, etc I am overwhelmed.

Time for tons of Self Compassion, i.e., What is true, be kind to the suffering, and I am not alone in this experience!  Finding the truth will take effort and right now I am sad and need the kindness to regroup.  Thank you to so many of you for your kindness when I shared this news with you, your supportive listening was the best medicine!

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